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Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

13 Years of Marriage

I dedicate this video to my beloved wife.

13 Years of Marriage

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Many of the couples that I counsel and advise in the course of my ministry have different issues concerning the relationship. However one that call’s my attention is the role in the marriage or relationship that has been in my view upside down!… He wears the skirt and she wears the pants!… Inevitably it will bring it’s consequences!…

The man’s role is to be the leader, provider the guide and the strength, and that’s inherent to his physical constitution. So he should take the lead in terms of the main decisions within the marriage. That’s what women like in a men!…A guy who passes security, bold and courageous not a “Banana”!….

The problem here goes to some “Men” that aren’t assuming their role and therefore bringing loads of problems within the relationship:

  • Insecurity, arguments, lack of provision and above all bad example for the family and children.
  •  He took her girlfriend from the parents house, who were providing and giving her all the best, and assumed that role, the provider by getting married!…That’s what is expected from him.
  • By not taking leadership, he is forcing the wife to do so, and he is the source of the problems.

The women role is the helper, the auxiliary of the husband, that will help him to achieve success. Not that she can’t pursue it, but at what cost? To undermine her husband? To assume the role of a helper means to give him the support he needs, to encourage with words, to lift him up and give him the conditions that he needs to overcome. His success will be her success!…

The problem here goes to some “Women” that want to take over his leadership, to usurp his role and wear the pants!…That will bring a tool on the marriage or relationship.

  • He will feel disrespected and undermined.
  • There will be two lines of guidance and obviously they will clash somehow.
  • He will see the wife or partner as a “Mum”.

Here goes some tips for a Healthy relationship:

For MEN:

  • Establish some boundaries.
  • Do not be afraid to place things where they belong!..Sometime for the sake of “Peace” men keep quite, because they know the partner  will not be pleased with it. But at what cost?
  • Asume your role 100% and be the provider not just financially but above all emotionally.

For WOMEN:

  • Strive to help your partner to take the lead on major decisions.
  • Communication is essencial. Put forth your expectations. Sometimes the wife doesn’t speak what is making her frustrated and keeps everything to her, therefore taking the lead.
  • Help, Help and Help. Maintain a environment of Peace at Home!…
  • Don’t quarrel and complain all the time.

This is useful for those who have a relationship or still single. I hope you can put things right!..Do not procrastinate, do it now!…

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What do you thing that will happen if two roosters abide in the same pen or poulterer? The image speaks by itself, certainly they will fight!… The  same happens with couples!…In Many occasions couples fight, argue, debate and lack harmony not because of incompatibility rather lack of knowing the position within the marriage or relationship.

It just doesn’t work the fact that within a household there are 2 people dictating the rules. It’s like the body, it has just one head!.. So if there are 2 heads, then 2 different ways, there is no unity!…Obviously  within the relationship, there will always be little disagreements of opinion but that is normal. I’m speaking about one direction, guidance, obedience to one voice. That will bring unity, togetherness and harmony. Now, who should be the “rooster” and who should be “Chicken”? ( Not with negative connotation )


Here are some tips for the “Roosters”:
According the Holy Scriptures, the “Rooster” is the Husband . If couples just abide by that principle things within the marriage or relationship would work wondrously.

  • Take the lead in major decisions.
  • Do not allow your house to be divided, you will lose control.
  • Give the guidance to the rest of the family (Wife, Children).
  • Be the provider.
  • Be disciplined with yourself and with those who live around, establish boundaries.

Here are some tips for the wives or partners:

  • Be submissive to your partner.
  • Respect his guidelines.
  • Consult him, before taking a decision.
  • Maner your tone of voice when asking for something eg: ” I thing we could do this, what do you think?”, not like: ” Let’s do this!..”

Ephesians 5:22-25

22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

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